When do you decide what to get someone for a birthday or big holiday? Working through the list of friends and family, there are those you typically want to gift with generosity, others who you received gifts from last year, maybe.
David Sedaris brought this dilema to light in his infamous 'Holidays on Ice" story series. I'm not too big on gift-getting (I live cloaked in the illusion that I have all I need.) However, being so inspired to never miss another opportunity to return the favor, I made a list of gifts I'm glad I wasn't given this year:
Fake Poop : $6.99 ea x 2 = $13.98
Football Soap on a Roap that you gave to your Gramps 5 years ago : $2.99 / 2
Ugly Reindeer Sweater : $56.97
Star Theater Night Sky Projector : $23.37
Herpes : $A lifetime of Valtrex
Browning Carnations : $4.99
Weird Pottery you think should hold pretzels : Probably stolen
Dead Fish : on sale $6.99/lb
Used Men's Underwear : $Minimum Wage
A Living Fish Packed in Tupperware : $13.98
Radio Pen [with Headphones] : $15.00 in high school band fund-raising catalog.
Oh, and sausage.
Send me your worst gifts and I will add them to the list.
Comments (2)
for the record, i didn't even pack that dead fish in tupperware. just some paper towels, a ziploc, and a priority mail envelope. best girlfriend ever!
Posted by claudia | January 8, 2007 1:54 PM
Posted on January 8, 2007 13:54
How about cans of soup? Worst present EVER, right? I mean, really, am I homeless. No, don't think so...
Posted by Jenny | January 9, 2007 12:22 PM
Posted on January 9, 2007 12:22