This is a long adventurous story full of love and sadness and redemption. This abridged version is limited in scope, but it is the truth.
For a long long time in my life, I felt different and out of place in the world. The ideas and thoughts I'd shared with the people around me were often a fraction of what I had buried deep in my heart and mind. It was always easy for me to meet and understand people, but very difficult for me to go deep within and understand myself.
I spent many years following the advice of my family, friends, and living rather unconsciously as a single guy with unresolved conflicts with money, power, and love hidden beneath the surface. I genuinely always wanted to make the world a better place, but through my unconscious action, I'm afraid I seasoned my benevolence with a dangerous mix of self destruction to hide the pain of some events that had occurred early in my life. I thought I was an island in this regard, and that humanity would indeed judge me to be unworthy of my dreams, but inevitably I learned that this was my internal reflection within, and that I was a human like all humans in many regards, despite being told for many years that I was exceptionally gifted.
When I lived in DC, I had always known I would eventually live in California. I worked like mad to attain the opportunity to do so. Along the lines of my inner struggle came the issue of money, and my inevitable inability to appreciate it at the time. I had too much of it too quickly, and my insatiable curiosity about the world led me to experience every facet of life I could attain.
When I came to California, I found a comfortable home deep within my ego. I did tremendous work starting the company I came here to create, and I made many friendships as well as learned a great deal about the world of elite business. But I came from the earth, and when living in the sky, I saw how far people with money were willing to go to dominate and vanquish their adversaries in the 'game' they call Life. To me, it was not a game. I know what my family went through in two global wars. The spirit of my ancestors began calling within, asking me to come clean and put a stop to the unbridled greed and mis-truth I witnessed.
When my turn came to be laid off, I was at a loss of words because my love for everyone and every ounce of energy I had put into my goals of success as entrepreneur and global benefactor was destroyed by a lie. I resolved to exit that world until the actors were themselves judged before their peers and I saw that the balance of energy would be restored among those controlling the information we share in the world.
And in that moment, I began my fall from grace. I lost my job. The fire of art and creativity burned bright within me and became my focus. I stepped into the realm of the unknown and allowed the visions of the future I'd experienced as a child guide me home. People began appearing in my life, guiding me along a path into my shadow within. The most incredibly powerful and beautiful of those energies appear to me on the night of 11/11/2008.
She was radiant and beautiful. Unlike any human I'd ever seen. We spoke briefly. I danced with her. She told me about her three children. I told her she should be proud to have the courage to raise three children alone for twelve years, and to have the strength to grow to realize a greater pattern of self in that time. A week or so went by, and my eyes that had one been open, suddenly truly fully began to open with my third eye, and the visions from the future became my present moment. She and I met again. She came to my house, we talked for one night. We fell in love there and then. She never left.
Suddenly, incredibly, we both stepped deep within together to journey deep into the dark places of our souls to release the pain of generations past. Pain from countless cycles of abuse, neglect, abandonment, exploitation, suffering, greed, wrath, and self-destruction flowed from us in a flood of sorrow and forgiveness. There were times when the day was as black as night. Through it all, we would return to our love from countless lifetimes and forgive the worlds inside ourselves and outside ourselves for creating this Universe to introduce such pain to us as children of Creation. The love within us is infinite and eternal. She and I exposed the darkest pieces of our lives, and felt the Earth doing the same, deciding whether to keep us here or let us go to waste.
We traveled and discovered incredible Universes of humanity, in which people were tearing open their higher consciousness in order to reveal their inner selves, which today I realize is the act of returning to the child we are within.
I'd been raised Polish Catholic but my parents had renounced the church and organized religion because of the financial agenda underlying most of our experiences with our clergy over the years. I wouldn't describe myself as a religious person. But the things I have seen first hand, and the places I have gone within, have in a sense been a crucifixion of my ego. I am but a child today. I can see the patterns of Creation in everything. To me, there is no time, we are only the act of Creation continuing to unfold, and we are the cosmos attempting to know itself. We can choose anything as our future when we journey through the shadow within. Time is a measure of escape from that shadow. We only need it because we humans attempt to isolate ourselves rather than unite, and in isolation, the act of Creation can be measured in time.
Sunkiss and I are not married. We are partners in Spirit. I assure you I am the essence of my innermost self, vulnerable and pure, through my reflection and journeys with her. We often retell the story of our meeting by sharing that she and the children are angels sent to bring me home to my truest path, and I am their angel sent to guide them in service to the divine within us all. When we create it to be in marriage, I will surely invite you and your children to be with us and our extended family of friends.
Now, I was granted another chance to live in service to humanity. This time, I'm working with a business partner in New York City to create a service to help people all over the world rediscover the incredible regenerative potential of humanity through gainful employment. We are building a website that helps people find great jobs through all the networks and websites at already exist out there. It is called http://gigs.ly. I will be in NYC this Dec 1-4 to meet with investors and finalize our funding for the next two years.
I am very excited that the Universe and our Earth decided to give us this opportunity to improve our Creative potential.
